i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
