I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
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