She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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