I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
