Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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