How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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