new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
