do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
