just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
