He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
