that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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