very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize