Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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