...so i touched it.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
