I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
