Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
