I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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