Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
