So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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