Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You don't make any sense
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