We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
