You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
