matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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