I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize
