its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
3 2 1 whiskey
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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