my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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