We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
