i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
