Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
