So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
