I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
