i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
