I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
