great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
