your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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