just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
