I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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