what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Duck Duck Cougar?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
