how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
