C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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