How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
