just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
