I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
