She announced her abortion via fbk
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
