I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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