He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
