The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
