WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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