I don't think brook has ever known best
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
