better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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